| Revision as of 20:51, 19 February 2005 editDale Arnett (talk | contribs)Administrators294,836 editsm →Season 12← Previous edit |
Latest revision as of 14:19, 1 February 2023 edit undoQwerfjkl (talk | contribs)Extended confirmed users, Page movers, Rollbackers212,917 editsm Converting {{Wikidata redirect}} to {{R with Wikidata item}}. {{Wikidata redirect}} should only be used on soft redirects.Tag: PAWS [2.1] |
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#REDIRECT ] |
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During the intro of most episodes of '']'', ] writes a unique phrase on the ]. This is known as a '''chalkboard gag'''. In the beginning of the series' run, these gags ere used in almost every episode, but as commercial time has increased, they have gradually started to disappear this past decade to the point where they are now rarely shown, only a couple per season. The show's producers have said that they may soon sadly disappear altogether. |
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== Season 1 == |
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* I will not waste ] |
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* I will not ] in the halls |
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* I will not burp in class |
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* I will not instigate revolution |
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* I will not draw naked ladies in class |
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* I did not see ] |
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* I will not call my teacher "Hot Cakes" |
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* ] ] is not funny |
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* They are laughing at me, not with me |
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* I will not yell "]" in a crowded classroom |
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== Season 2 == |
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{{R cat shell| |
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* I will not encourage others to fly |
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{{R to section}} |
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* I will not fake my way through life |
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{{R with Wikidata item|10749859}} |
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* ] is not a plaything |
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* I will not ] my butt |
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* It's ], not potatoe (a reference to ]'s infamous misspelling of the word at an elementary school spelling bee) |
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* I will not trade pants with others |
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* I am not a 32 year old woman (a reference to ], the actress who provides the voice of Bart) |
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* I will not do that thing with my tongue |
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* I will not drive the principal's car |
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* I will not pledge allegiance to Bart |
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* I will not sell school property |
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* I will not cut corners (followed by a line of ] signs) |
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* I will not get very far with this attitude |
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* I will not make ] noises in class |
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* I will not ] the ] |
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* I will not sell land in ] |
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* I will not grease the monkey bars |
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* I will not hide behind the ] |
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* I will not do anything bad ever again |
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* I will not show off (written in '']'' style ]) |
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* I will not sleep through my education |
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== Season 3 == |
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* I am not a ] |
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* Spitwads are not ] |
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* Nobody likes sunburn slappers |
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* High explosives and school don't mix |
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* I will not bribe Principal Skinner |
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* I will not squeak ] (chalk is heard squeaking as he writes) |
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* I will finish what I sta |
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* "Bart Bucks" are not ] |
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* I will not fake rabies |
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* Underwear should be worn on the inside |
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* The Christmas Pageant does not stink |
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* I will not torment the emotionally frail |
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* I will not carve gods |
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* I will not spank others |
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* I will not aim for the head |
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* I will not barf unless I'm sick |
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* I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty |
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* I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge |
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* I will not conduct my own fire drills |
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* Funny noises are not funny |
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* I will not spin the turtle |
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* I will not snap bras |
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* I will not fake ]s |
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== Season 4 == |
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* This punishment is not boring and pointless |
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* My name is not Dr. Death |
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* I will not defame ] (an apology to the people of New Orleans after offending them through song in the previous episode) |
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* I will not prescribe medication |
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* I will not bury the new kid |
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* I will not teach others to fly |
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* I will not bring sheep to class |
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* A burp is not an answer |
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* Teacher is not a ] |
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* ] is not for kids (each line becomes less and less legible; the last line is a scribble) |
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* I will not eat things for money |
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* I will not yell "She's Dead" during roll call |
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* The principal's toupee is not a ] |
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* I will not call the principal "spud head" |
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* Goldfish don't bounce |
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* Mud is not one of the 4 ] |
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* No one is interested in my underpants |
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* I will not sell miracle cures |
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* I will return the seeing-eye dog |
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* I do not have ] |
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* I will not charge admission to the bathroom |
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== Season 5 == |
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* I will never win an ] (a reference to losing the Emmy nomination for the ''Best Comedy Series'' category) |
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* The cafeteria deep fryer is not a toy |
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* All work and no play makes Bart a dull boy (a reference to '']'') |
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* I will not say "]" just to get applause |
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* I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers |
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* My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man (a reference to '']'') |
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* I will not go near the kindergarten turtle |
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* I am not delightfully saucy |
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* ]s are best left to the professionals |
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* The ] does not end with Hail ] |
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* I will not celebrate meaningless milestones (use for the 100th episode) |
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* There are plenty of businesses like show business (a reference to the phrase "there's no business like show business") |
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* I will not re-transmit without the express permission of ] |
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* Five days is not too long to wait for a gun |
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== Season 6 == |
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* Beans are neither fruit nor musical |
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* I will not use abbrev. |
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* I am not the reincarnation of ]. |
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* I will not send ] through the mail |
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* I will not dissect things unless instructed |
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* I will not whittle hall passes out of soap |
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* ] won't "morph" if you squeeze him hard enough |
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* Adding "just kidding" doesn't make it okay to insult the Principal |
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* "Bagman" is not a legitimate career choice |
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* Cursive writing does not mean what I think it does |
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* Next time it could be me on the scaffolding |
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* I will not hang donuts on my person |
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* I will remember to take my medication |
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* I will not strut around like I own the place |
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* The Good Humor man can only be pushed so far |
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* I do not have ] over first graders |
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* ] is not a toy |
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* I will not mock Mrs. Dumbface |
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* The ] does not cover burping |
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* This is not a clue...or is it? (] is shot by a mysterious figure in this episode) |
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== Season 7 == |
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* I will not complain about the solution when I hear it (the solution to Who Shot Mr. Burns is revealed in this episode) |
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* "]" does not promote Satanism |
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* No one wants to hear from my armpits |
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* I am not a lean mean spitting machine |
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* The boys room is not a water park |
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* Indian burns are not our cultural heritage |
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* ]s are unhealthy for children and other living things |
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* I will only do this once a year (a reference to clip shows) |
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* I will stop talking about the twelve inch pianist |
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* I am not certified to remove ] |
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== Season 8 == |
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* I did not learn everything I need to know in ] |
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* I am not my long-lost ] |
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* The truth is not out there (used in an episode ]ing ]) |
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* I am not licensed to do anything |
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* I will not hide the teacher's ] |
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* A ] does not demand a fire |
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== Season 9 == |
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* I no longer want my ] (a spoof of the "I want my MTV" slogan from the 80s; a reference to MTV's declining popularity in recent years) |
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* Everyone is tired of that ] story (a reference to the urban legend that Richard Gere was injured pursuing a deviant sexual practice involving a gerbil) |
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* I did not invent Irish dancing |
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* I will not tease Fatty |
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* There was no ] named "Farticus" |
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* ]'s red nose is not alcohol-related |
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* Shooting paintballs is not an art form |
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* Pain is not the cleanser |
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* Silly String is not a ] |
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* I was not told to do this |
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* My butt does not deserve a website |
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* I will not demand what I'm worth (a reference to a salary dispute with the cast) |
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* I will not mess with the opening credits (appears as part of a couch gag with the rest of the family) |
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* I am not the new ] |
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* I was not the inspiration for "]" (aired three days after the last episode of '']'') |
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== Season 10 == |
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* I will not file frivolous lawsuits |
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* "butt.butt" is not my E-mail address (originally butt.com; was removed because butt.com actually exists as a ] site) |
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* No one cares what my definition of "is" is (a reference to a quote said by former president ] during the ]) |
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* I will not scream for ice cream |
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* I am not a licensed hairstylist |
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* "The President did it" is not an excuse (aired the day after Bill Clinton was impeached) |
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* My mom is not dating ] |
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* Sherri does not "got back" |
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* I will not do the Dirty Bird (a reference to the victory dance of the ]) |
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* No one wants to hear about my ] |
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* Hillbillies are people too |
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* ] is not a time of waste |
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* It does not suck to be you |
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* I cannot absolve sins |
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* A trained ape could not teach gym |
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* Loose teeth don't need my help |
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* I have neither been there nor done that |
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* I'm so very tired |
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== Season 11 == |
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* Fridays are not "pants optional" |
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* Pork is not a verb |
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* I am not the last Don |
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* I did not win the Nobel Fart Prize |
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* I won't not use no double negatives |
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* Indian burns are not our cultural heritage |
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* I can't see dead people (a reference to the line "I see dead people" from the movie '']'') |
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* I will not sell my ] on ] |
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* I will not create art from dung (a reference to an art exhibit that had a portrait of the ] splattered with feces) |
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* I will stop phoning it in |
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* Class clown is not a paid position |
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* Substitute teachers are not scabs |
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* My suspension was not "mutual" |
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* A belch is not an oral report |
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* ] stops at the gym door |
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* "Non-flammable" is not a challenge |
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* I was not touched "there" by an angel |
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* I am not here on a fartball scholarship |
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* I will not dance on anyone's grave |
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* I cannot hire a substitute student |
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* I will not obey the voices in my head |
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== Season 12 == |
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* I will not plant sublimin'''al''' messa'''gore'''s (bold text was in green; a reference to a ] TV spot during the ] where "RAT" quickly appeared on screen as a subliminal message) |
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* I will not surprise the ] |
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* I am not the acting president |
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* I was not the sixth ] |
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* I will only provide a urine sample when asked |
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* The nurse is not dealing |
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* Science class should not end in tragedy |
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* Network TV is not dead |
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* I will not "let the dogs out" |
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* I will not hide the teacher's medication |
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* I will not publish the principal's credit report |
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* The hamster did not have "a full life" |
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* I will not buy a ] |
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* "]" was not a sleazy piece of crap |
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* I will not scare the vice president |
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* I will not flush evidence |
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* Fire is not the cleanser |
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* Genetics is not an excuse |
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* Today is not ]'s day (this episode aired on ]) |
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* I should not be twenty-one by now |
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== Season 13 == |
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* Nobody reads these anymore |
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* A burp in a jar is not a science project |
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* Fun does not have a size |
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* I am not ] on acid |
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* I do not have a ] named after me (at the time this episode aired, Bart actually ''did'' have a cereal named after him) |
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* I will not bite the hand that feeds me Butterfingers |
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* The giving tree is not a chump |
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* Making ] cry is not a science project |
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* Vampire is not a career choice |
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* I will never lie about being cancelled again |
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==Season 14== |
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* Fish do not like coffee |
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* ] did not test cootie positive |
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* This school does not need a "regime change" |
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* ] is not a ] |
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* I will not (Bart then chops up the chalkboard with an axe) |
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* My pen is not a booger launcher |
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* Sandwiches should not contain sand |
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==Season 15== |
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* Over forty & single is not funny |
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* I will not speculate on how hot teacher used to be |
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==Season 16== |
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* Poking a dead raccoon is not research |
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==External link== |
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* |
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] |
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