Misplaced Pages

Revision as of 00:32, 24 September 2014

Looks good!Kr13al (talk) 19:59, 9 September 2014 (UTC)

this is lame but the sandbox is good :) Ls12ue (talk) 20:02, 9 September 2014 (UTC)

It's great. Congratulations on getting started.--LynnMcCleary (talk) 21:37, 9 September 2014 (UTC)

Responding to comment about course on Adolescence talk page

Hey ladies! Someone commented on the banner I put in the Adolescence page. How do you think we should respond to this? Take a look at let's think about an awesome response! Very excited to work with you all :) Ss13zf (talk) 18:12, 10 September 2014 (UTC)

Hi guys! I saw the comment too. Will think on it and get back to everyone. Looking forward to working with you all :) Kr13al (talk) 02:22, 11 September 2014 (UTC)

Hello again! So I was thinking about it last night and here is a drafted response. Please edit/comment and when we are all comfortable with a response we can go ahead and post it on the talk page of our topic;

"Hi Flyer22, thanks for noticing us on here! We are first year nursing students who have been assigned this topic by our professor as part of our "Professional and Therapeutic Communications" class. Our intention is to review and then add to and/or edit information under the social development and culture sections with respect to communication. As this article is rated a B class on wikipedia our only hope is to assist in bringing it further up the quality scale by adding some information regarding communication that we feel is valuable to the subject. We recognize that you and your fellow wiki editors have already done a wonderful job in getting it to its current state. We will be working in a group sandbox for which we will post the link once it is up and running. We are new to this and certainly welcome input and assistance from yourself and others. Thank you."

Thoughts??Kr13al (talk) 16:50, 11 September 2014 (UTC)

Yes, I agree with everything you are saying. It is not our intentions to criticize those who have already edited it to the current class it is considered. We are all intending to further improve the article or suggest what we feel should be added/ deleted. Often when writers are expressing ideas they write in a writers point of view and many of the cases the articles, journals, books are unclear to the reader. By working together as a group we all have our own opinions and can help change and article from a lower class to that of a higher one. (Vs14gj (talk) 02:29, 16 September 2014 (UTC)).

Thanks for the comments Victoria, I'll rework the response to include your comments and post another draft later. We should probably post a response soon though. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Kr13al (talk • contribs) 15:15, 17 September 2014 (UTC)

This is a good response. You could say that I am your professor and link to my user page User:LynnMcCleary. If you want, you could change the second last sentence to give a bit more information: "We will be working in a group sandbox for this project. Once it's up an running we'll post a link here. We use the sandbox to help each other to figure out what might be suggested for edits within the Adolescence page prior." I would capitalize Misplaced Pages and change the term wiki editors to Misplaced Pages editors. I think you should go ahead and respond to the comment. LynnMcCleary (talk) 15:11, 22 September 2014 (UTC)

One more thing - I think that even though you've explained this in your response below, it would still be helpful to post a response on the Adolescence talk page. Other editors may have the same question and, thus, benefit from your explanation.--LynnMcCleary (talk) 00:35, 23 September 2014 (UTC)

Initial discussion and review of the Adolescence article and possible edits

Kr13al Initial thoughts

Hi everyone. In reviewing the article I focused more on the first section we were allowed to edit which is the social development section. This section seems to be fairly stable and well-written but I still think there are some areas where we can improve the writing as well as add content. Here are my critiques and suggestions;

1. In the first subsection of identity development there is a sentence that requires a citation so I think we should try to find one and if we can't maybe we should rework that part so that all the content is verifiable.

2. I am also not comfortable with the last sentence in that subsection though I keep trying to verbalize why and can't quite put my finger on it. I think it either comes across as biased or needs to be fleshed out a bit more.

3. There is a complete lack of information as to how communication affects identity. I am not sure if we should fit it in to each of the subsections under identity development or just add a subsection for communication and it's role. If we try to fit it in to each of the existing subsections then for example I was thinking we need to add information about how the self-concept is shaped by interactions.

4. There are no images either in this section and I am sure we can find something that would be suitable. i did some initial searches on the internet and there are several diagrams that are helpful in illustrating identity and self-concept.

5. The environment and identity section seems very biased towards more Western or 1st world countries. I was thinking we could look into it from a more international perspective to see if those observations still hold true. And then also include how communication in adolescence is affected by environment. I also feel that what they mean by environment could be explained a bit better in that section.

6. Finally I think we should add a small section under culture regarding communication as I think the way teenagers communicate would vary greatly depending on the culture, for example as we discussed in class collective vs. individualistic cultures. I think some of this would also tie in with identity management in how they communicate with their friends from different cultures versus their family. Not sure how to work that in just thinking "aloud" so to speak about some of my friends and their experiences with that in high school.

Ok well those were my initial thoughts when reading through our sections. Looking forward to working with all of you. Kr13al (talk) 02:32, 18 September 2014 (UTC)

Ls12ue initial thoughts

Hey guys, I read the article and your last comment about how communication affects identity and that the info is lacking, so I suggest we add some type of either section or paragraph regarding how communication shapes the identities on adolescence and the impact that communication has on identity development and management. I also thought that we could potentially add a section specifically for "Communication Among Adolescence" so we can go into greater detail about the different types of communication and the styles adolescence tend to use: ie: social media, texting, emails, etc. I know there are sections that touch base on the topics but we could definitely relate the listening lesson we had to the style of communication. I feel that adolescence communicate in their own way and I think we should try to give an image of how exactly that is done. This article has many sections and they are all generally pretty good. If we added a section specifically for communication, i feel that we could include listening, some examples of verbal and nonverbal behaviours that typically are seen and maybe even some information regarding how the lack of communication could affect adolescent development. Let me know what you think :) Ls12ue (talk) 18:23, 17 September 2014 (UTC)

After reading your thoughts I think that a paragraph regarding communication within the identity sections would be better and then I really like your idea regarding a subsection; "Communication Among Adolescents". Perhaps we could also find some information on how the styles change from childhood to the adolescence period. Your comments regarding the channels teens use is so true and I think that changes a lot from children as they don’t always have cell phones but adolescents usually do. Also teens are coming into an age where they are probably monitored much less by their parents than before and with these new channels what does that mean in terms of development? If possible I also think it would be great if we could find some information on whether this is the same internationally or not. Thoughts? Kr13al (talk) 03:25, 21 September 2014 (UTC)

Ss13zf initial thoughts

Hey guys! So I read both of your reviews and I completely agree. I LOVE the title "Communication Among Adolescence" and agree that we should work on a section going over how adolescence communication among themselves. I was looking over the section "Identity Development" and they talk a lot about the fact that adolescence go through a lot of change and social growth throughout their adolescent years. And I was thinking we could add a section in there about "Identity Management" including the perceived, presented, and personal self. This is because during this time of growth, adolescence are creating theses identities and are trying to figure out how to manage them all at the same time. This section would be very beneficial (in my opinion). There are also ZERO pictures in the entire identity section, so maybe we could find some to add. Even if they were silly (like the one on the top left that says "two teenagers listening to music" haha). A simple picture of two teens talking will break up all the words on the page, making it easier to read. And lastly, though I know it's not our section, maybe we could add a little blurb about communication under the "Relationships" section. Obviously communication is necessary for positive relationships so we could add something in there. Other than that I think you guys nailed it right on the head. Let me know what you thought about my comments, and I can't wait to work more in depth with you all! :) Ss13zf (talk) 02:06, 18 September 2014 (UTC)

I'm letting you all know that this WP:Sandbox is on my WP:Watchlist, and that I've seen your replies. It is better to work with the editors of the Adolescence article by posting comments there at its talk page about what you are looking to improve regarding that article. This also helps address things that have already been addressed with the article, such as WP:Images. Flyer22 (talk) 02:37, 18 September 2014 (UTC)

Hi Flyer22. I'm sorry if you feel we aren't following protocol. We are following the instructions laid out by our professor regarding our project, one of which is to talk amongst ourselves and critically review the article in our own sandbox page. I am sure one of the reasons for this is so that our prof can easily find our comments in order to grade us appropriately. When we get further along in the assignment we will be posting in the article talk page as you suggested. For right now though we are only supposed to work within our own sandbox. Thanks for your input and we hope you understand.Kr13al (talk) 13:56, 18 September 2014 (UTC)

Thank you for your comments Flyer22 and for letting the students know that they can rely on editors on the Adolescence page. They'll be taking advantage of this a bit later in the course. I am the professor for the course. I'm following suggestions of the Misplaced Pages education program with the assignment for the students but I think maybe I should have had the students hold off on posting the banner on the Adolescence talk page until we were later along in the process. Other professors have recommended having the students learn editing in their own sandbox before moving on to suggest any edits to Misplaced Pages pages. Hopefully, this serves two purposes: (1) to help the students gain confidence about both Misplaced Pages and the topic of the assignment before suggesting edits, and (2) to not overwhelm the editors of the Misplaced Pages articles students edit with the research that they'll be doing before they make any suggestions. I agree that the students can benefit greatly from with editors on the Adolescence page. The first task for me and the students is to help the students get focused, so that they can engage with the editors with confidence in their own knowledge. Right now the students are learning about Misplaced Pages criteria for good articles. They are reviewing articles so that they can see if there are opportunities to bring some additional information related to communication. The next step for the students is to do some research. They have to learn more about communication and adolescence before they can figure out if there is potentially useful information for this page. They will then work together to see if what they found has relevance to the Adolescence page. If so, they will share their findings with the editors on the Adolescence page, engage in discussion at that page, and suggest edits. If this is viewed positively, they will go ahead and make edits. Again, thank you. --LynnMcCleary (talk) 15:33, 22 September 2014 (UTC)

Vs14gj initial thoughts

Having reviewed the article there are some things left unanswered or statements that needed to be elaborated on. In the section Social development (Identity development), the first sentence talks about how adolescence if the time when teenagers form personal identities. I believe that the “identities” should be listed with a brief explanation of what they mean. Also in this part of the identity development section the writer cites a study done by the American Psychological Association in which he/she mentions less privileged upbringing. They fail to define what less privileged actually means. Would this consider poor people, adolescents involved in criminal activity or adolescents from a single parent household?

Under the heading Sense of Identity I believe that when the writer talks about Adolescents defining themselves regarding the people they associate with we should try to include a section about communication here. People change their identities base on the crowd they are involved with whether it be elders, those of higher seniority, family or friends. I believe that the communication that occurs between the different groups helps shape who an adolescent is. An example of this could be a teen going to a new school and trying to shape their image around which they want to be. Talking differently to the “popular kids” may in fact sub consciously change the identity of someone.

In the section about Environment and Identity the writer mentions that studies are conducted but does not give examples of the studies. The writer also failed to include what the factors are when talking about adolescence and the prominent stage of the life course. Furthermore he/she mentions that “children that grow up in nice suburban communities are not exposed to bad environments” fail to realize that no matter where they grow up these adolescents could be exposed to bad environments.

When talking about self-esteem there are more than just friends that will influence a girls self esteem. Intimate relationships are a primary factor in building self-esteem. When a female is happy and supported in a relationship they feel comfortable and more secure. The paragraph continues by stating, “Boys are more concerned with establishing and asserting their independence and defining their relation to authority.” Presently, boys are more concerned with their body image and having competition.

The culture section about adolescence was very interesting. There are many things that I did not know. Having critically reviewed the article I believe that when the writer talks about “Social roles and responsibilities” the topic concerning cultures that are accustomed to wearing certain things such as turbans, hijabs, etc. should be included. Although it is a part of certain cultures beliefs I think that these issues can change a persons identity. This section of the article also says “However, specific household responsibilities for cultures may vary by culture, family type, and adolescent age.” This is cited but does not include where it came from. “According to…” should also be included in the beginning of this sentence. The writer talks about how between 10 years in China the employment rate has lowered due to the increased accessibility and students who achieve higher academics. The reason why the rates have lowered may also be because the lack of jobs not just because they’re less employed. There may not be enough jobs to employ them. It is said that the amount of time students spend on homework and school based assignments is dependent on ones culture. This could also be based on economic status, whether someone is rich or poor.

Furthermore, in the section of the culture article named Sexuality the writer begins to say that “Restrictive overtly discourage sexual activity in unmarried adolescents.” This section, when talking about cultures should be more informative. It is important for the article to state which cultures actually believe this to further educate and expand the reader’s knowledge and understanding.

In the section about Alcohol and illicit drug use I believe that a section on an adolescent’s social identity should be included. Many adolescents do not have the desire to try or use drugs but in fact do use because of their desire to “fit in”. The article talks about how drug uses has been consistently growing in the U.S but does not provide a section where the information came from and should include what it is being compared to.

The second last section of the article regarding “Social Influence” may fit better with the social identity section of the adolescence page, simply because identity is easily influenced.

I know that this article is already a B rating, just thought I would point out all of the things I noticed and see if others felt the same way. Hopefully we can all elaborate on some good critiques in attempt to better the article.

Cant wait to work with everyone! (Vs14gj (talk) 03:01, 18 September 2014 (UTC))

Yes, the article is already has a B rating, which is impressive. Hopefully, your group will be able to make some suggestions that enhance the article. LynnMcCleary (talk) 16:01, 22 September 2014 (UTC)

Vs14gj initial thoughts and response to previous reviews

Ss13zf, Ls12ue, Kr13al. I completely agree about adding some thing to do with communication in the culture section. This comment also ties into what I said about the "social influence" subsection falling better in the category of "social identity". We can add parts about communication here.

Also, great idea about the "Communication among Adolescence". Technology has and will continue to evolve and therefore so will our communication. It is a good idea to talk about this as it has a lot to do with the adolescent identity and how an adolescent continues to change.

I think that you guys are right about adding pictures. It is like what we learnt in class yesterday. Pictures are worth 1000 words. We could attempt to further expand the readers knowledge on adolescents and their social identity by giving them other ways to learn. Many people find it helpful to have a visual to compare to when reading difficult material.

Sounds like a lot of us have the same ideas whether it be small like adding citations/pictures or larger by adding new sections about communication among adolescents. This project will be a great time for us to all interact. Cheers (Vs14gj (talk) 18:38, 18 September 2014 (UTC))

Self esteem

I'm loving the communication on this page ladies! In reference to the person who is following this post, I've asked Professor Lynn if I could "tag" (for lack of a better word) her in these posts so she can see what's going on...so LynnMcCleary hopefully that works haha! I was also re-reading the self esteem portion and was wondering if it would be weird to sub categorize them into Male and Female perspectives. We could definitely throw a bit of communication in there but making it male and female would be very beneficial (it wouldn't just be one huge clump anymore). As with the the comment we received; I think we should keep doing what Prof. Lynn has asked (keep it in this talk page) before making any sort of jump to the main page. Clearly it's a valued article and I (as all of you probably do) just want to keep the peace as Misplaced Pages is already confusing enough!! Hope you all have a great weekend! OOH, one more thing! Are you all going to the Misplaced Pages drop in session? Maybe we could all go to the same date and work on this page together? Great way to put faces to names (well user names in this case) and get a real head start on this editing thing. Let me know what you think! :) Ss13zf (talk) 15:56, 19 September 2014 (UTC)

Ss13zf , Yes I agree on the sub headings in the self esteem area. I think that what they wrote about the guys self esteem could be elaborated on a lot more. I thought more along the lines of guys being self conscious about their body type. Most of the guys I know are so into body building and having a great body. It is all about the competition within groups of friends. Competition could maybe also make them more self- conscious, knowing how one of your good friends look and how far you still have to go to make it to that body size. I don't know, just a thought but I think we can expand on the topic more. Getting together in person is a great idea. Communicating and trying to get ideas across is always easier and more efficient in person. (Vs14gj (talk) 18:37, 19 September 2014 (UTC))

Do you guys mean the session this Thursday? If so sounds good, I'll be there.

I like what you are thinking in regards to men and being self-conscious about their body. There is a subsection regarding body image in the culture so we should probably check that out before to make sure we don't duplicate or contradict after we have found sources. Or perhaps we might find that fitting the media and body image part within our section might work better and we can move it out of it's current location. Am I making sense? — Preceding unsigned comment added by Kr13al (talk • contribs) 03:38, 21 September 2014 (UTC)

Sorry forgot to sign...it's late...Kr13al (talk) 03:40, 21 September 2014 (UTC)

A few of you have commented on the need for images. Great picking up on that suggestion in the good article criteria. We'll learn more about images and Misplaced Pages later in the course. I believe that Flyer22 referred you to discussion on the Adolescence talk page about images.LynnMcCleary (talk) 16:01, 22 September 2014 (UTC)

Thank you, LynnMcCleary. Yes, there are currently two image discussions on the Adolescence talk page. Flyer22 (talk) 00:32, 24 September 2014 (UTC)

I agree, you're having good communication. I've made a suggestion for your response to the editor who is giving you advice. I get notices when you make changes to your talk page because it is on my Watchlist. Flyer22 gave you a helpful link to what a WP:Watchlist is. You can click a box at the bottom of a page to watch it - and get notices when there are changes. I also made some organizational changes to your talk page. I think it might help you follow if you use headings. I think you're ready for a heading now to bring together your discussion - and come up with what you need to learn more about. Remember, you are focusing on communication for this course. I like that you're examining the whole page and getting to know it. I highly recommend that you restrict yourselves to content related to communication and adolescence. You now have a good understanding of what is already on the Adolescence page. You can see if there is content there that relates to communication (you would want anything you suggest adding to be in sync with what's already there). Think about what you need to know to be able to credibly suggest edits related to communication and where you could get that information. LynnMcCleary (talk) 16:01, 22 September 2014 (UTC)

Thank you User:LynnMcCleary, I sure was shocked when I opened the page and everything was organized and so much easier to read. I also think it is great that all of us have reviewed the article to such depth. It will really help us analyze the sections that we want to try to further improve. If everyone if okay with it we should try to meet briefly to talk about what changes we want to make and where we should all start for the next part of the assignment. Things are going to progress very soon. See everyone tomorrow. (Vs14gj (talk) 22:48, 23 September 2014 (UTC))

So quick question...have we done what we needed to do by the 24th? Ss13zf (talk) 23:18, 23 September 2014 (UTC)