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			{{Short description\|American nonprofit organization for men seeking to reduce unwanted same-sex attraction}}
	'''People Can Change''' is a nonprofit organization<ref></ref> for men who want to "reduce or eliminate their homosexual desire." The organization also hosts weekend retreats for these men. It is composed of men who are said to "have successfully transitioned out of unwanted homosexual attractions and increased their heterosexual identity, feelings and behaviors."<ref name="whatis">{{cite web \|url= http://www.peoplecanchange.com/whatispcc.htm\|title= People Can Change homepage\|accessdate=2007-10-01}}</ref> Their mission is "to offer other men who seek similar transformation a pathway of healing, by providing information, training, coaching and support."<ref name=whatis /> It has online resources, online groups, and an experimental weekend. It is a signatory member of the coalition ''Positive Alternatives To Homosexuality'', a coalition of 10 major ex-gay organizations seeking to support those with unwanted homosexual desires.<ref>{{cite news \|title= Diverse Coalition Forms to Support People Seeking 'Non-Gay' Alternatives to Unwanted Homosexuality\|publisher= ]\|date= July 2003\|url= http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_pwwi/is_200307/ai_mark337292201}}</ref>
			{{Use mdy dates\|date=May 2023}}
			{{Use American English\|date=May 2023}}

			{{Infobox organization
	People Can Change was created in 2000 by Rich Wyler, based on his own experience with ].<ref name="deseret">{{cite news \|first= Deborah\|last= Bulkeley\|title= Ex-gay man says change possible: But reparative therapy remains controversial\|url= http://deseretnews.com/dn/view/0,1249,595084123,00.html\|publisher= ]\|date= 2004-08-13\|accessdate=2007-10-01}}</ref> In an interview with ], Wyler explains the purpose of the group is to help men find peace and fulfillment in their lives. While he admits that may mean living as a homosexual for some men, he says that others have found fulfillment in celibacy or in a heterosexual relationship.<ref name=kcrw>] ], ], March 3, 2007</ref>
			\| name = Brothers Road
			\| image = Brothers Road Logo.png
			\| full name = Brothers on a Road Less Traveled
			\| named_after = "]"
			\| founders = Rich Wyler, ]
			\| type = ]<ref name=EIN/>
			\| headquarters = ], USA<ref name=EIN/>
			\| founded_date = {{start date and age\|2000}}<ref name=deseret/>
			\| area_served = Worldwide
			\| purpose = Support men wanting to attempt to decrease unwanted ], and increase ]<ref name=NYT/><ref name=Mission/><ref name=Lessen/>
			\| merger =
			\| tax_id = 54-2056275<ref name=EIN>{{Cite web \|title=Brothers On A Road Less Traveled Inc \|url=https://eintaxid.com/company/542056275-brothers-on-a-road-less-traveled-inc/ \|access-date=2023-05-28 \|website=eintaxid.com}}</ref>
			\| num_volunteers =
			\| volunteers_year =
			\| former name = People Can Change (until 2016)<ref name=Name/>
			\| homepage = {{URL\|https://BrothersRoad.org/}} (formerly )
			\| subsidiaries = Journey Into Manhood
			\| affiliations =
			}}

			'''Brothers on a Road Less Traveled''' is an American ]<ref>{{cite web\|url=https://www.taxexemptworld.com/organization.asp?tn=358769\|title=Brothers On A Road Less Traveled Inc 501C3 Nonprofit Organization Information\|work=TaxExemptWorld.com\|access-date=August 28, 2018}}</ref> supporting men who wish to ] their ] desires.<ref name=NYT>{{cite news\|url=https://www.nytimes.com/2016/11/30/us/politics/mike-pence-and-conversion-therapy-a-history.html\|newspaper=]\|title=Mike Pence and 'Conversion Therapy': A History\|last=Stack\|first=Liam\|date=2016-11-30\|access-date=2018-08-28}}</ref><ref name=Mission>{{cite web\|url=http://www.brothersroad.org/about/mission/\|title=Mission & Vision\|work=BrothersRoad.org\|access-date=2018-08-31\|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20181018192013/http://www.brothersroad.org:80/about/mission/\|archive-date=October 18, 2018 \|url-status=dead\|quote=We especially support men who choose to voluntarily explore the possibilities for minimizing their erotic or romantic responses to other men, and/or increasing their sexual or romantic interests in women, to the extent possible.}}</ref> Formerly known as '''People Can Change''' ('''PCC'''),<ref name=Name/><ref>{{cite web\|url=http://www.brothersroad.org/namechange/\|title=We've Changed Our Name!\|work=BrothersRoad.org\|access-date=2018-08-31}}</ref> the organization was founded in 2000, and is sometimes called '''Brothers Road''' ('''BR''').<ref name="Stack">{{cite news\|url=http://archive.sltrib.com/article.php?id=2979919&itype=CMSID\|title=Conversion therapies don't work, experts say, so why do gay Mormons still seek them out?\|last=Fletcher Stack\|first=Peggy \|author-link=Peggy Fletcher Stack\|work=]\|date=2015-10-01\|access-date=2018-08-31}}</ref> It runs the Journey Into Manhood program. The organization and program are controversial and have been alleged to be consumer fraud in a 2016 complaint made to the Federal Trade Commission. For decades, Brothers Road co-founder David Matheson was one of the nation's leading conversion therapists, but in 2019 he left the organization to date men.<ref name=Pursue/><ref>{{Cite news \|last=Sottile \|first=Leah \|date=2019-10-01 \|title=Every week in church, I'm going, 'Can I come out?' \|work=] \|url=https://story.californiasunday.com/escape-gay-conversion \|access-date=2023-06-03}}</ref>
	== Weekend retreats ==

			== Formation and purpose ==
	Journey Into Manhood is an experimental weekend put on by People Can Change aimed at helping men overcome unwanted homosexual desires. It takes place in various parts of the US and the UK.<ref></ref> It uses a variety of techniques, including visualizations, group sharing and emotional-release, based on the creators' personal experience and time with ], but makes clear that the group is non-professional peer counseling.<ref>{{cite web \|url= http://www.narth.com/docs/weekends.html\|title= Journey Into Manhood: A Healing Weekend Hosted by People Can Change\|accessdate= 2007-10-01\|date= 2006-04-20\|publisher= ]}}</ref> The concepts used in this retreat were presented at the 2003 ] Conference on Homosexuality: Current Trends
	in Research and Therapy<ref>Matheson, David A LPC, ] Conference on Homosexuality: Current Trends
	in Research and Therapy. 2003</ref> The most common reason for attending these retreats was the desire to heal emotional pain.<ref> Christian Newsire, July 13, 2006</ref> Some ] organizations promote these weekends on their websites.<ref> and </ref> In 2007, ] made it the topic of their workshop ''Experiential Weekends - Are They Right For Me?''<ref></ref>

			People Can Change was founded in 2000 by two ] men, Rich Wyler and David Matheson, based upon principles of ].<ref name="deseret">{{cite news \|first= Deborah\|last= Bulkeley\|title= Ex-gay man says change possible: But reparative therapy remains controversial\|url= http://deseretnews.com/dn/view/0,1249,595084123,00.html\|archive-url= https://web.archive.org/web/20040816031909/http://deseretnews.com/dn/view/0,1249,595084123,00.html\|url-status= dead\|archive-date= August 16, 2004\|publisher= ]\|date= 2004-08-13\|accessdate=2007-10-01}}</ref> Both men had ties to the now-defunct, ] LDS organization ].<ref>{{Cite news \|last=Brooks \|first=Joanna \|author-link=Joanna Brooks \|date=2011-08-05 \|title='Ex-Gay' NPR Report Closets Mormon Side of the Story \|work=] \|url=https://religiondispatches.org/ex-gay-npr-report-closets-mormon-side-of-the-story/ \|access-date=2023-05-31}}</ref><ref>{{Cite news \|last=Shulleeta \|first=Brandon \|date=2010-07-11 \|title=Gay-to-straight camp run by local man praised, panned \|work=] \|location=Charlottesville, Virginia \|url=https://dailyprogress.com/news/gay-to-straight-camp-run-by-local-man-praised-panned/article_b1ae3d82-ccf1-5bb4-bc59-0cf422bba5d8.html \|url-status=live \|url-access=subscription \|access-date=2023-05-31 \|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20220309133651/https://dailyprogress.com/news/gay-to-straight-camp-run-by-local-man-praised-panned/article_b1ae3d82-ccf1-5bb4-bc59-0cf422bba5d8.html \|archive-date=March 9, 2022 \|via=]}}</ref><ref>{{citation \|url= http://www.evergreeninternational.org/wyler_longer_version.htm \|contribution= A Mighty Change of Heart \|first= Rich \|last= Wyler \|title= Evergreen International 17th Annual Conference \|date= September 21, 2007 \|location= ], Salt Lake City, Utah \|archive-url= https://web.archive.org/web/20120724195901/http://www.evergreeninternational.org/wyler_longer_version.htm \|publisher=] \|archive-date= 24 July 2012\|url-status=usurped \|via=]}}</ref> In 2016, PCC changed its name to Brothers on a Road Less Traveled.<ref name=Name>{{cite news\|url=https://www.ynetnews.com/articles/0,7340,L-4958558,00.html\|work=YNetNews.com\|title=An inside look into 'sexual orientation conversion therapy'\|last=Yanko\|first=Yadir\|date=2017-05-08\|access-date=2018-08-31}}</ref>
	For Cory Larsen, finding the People Can Change website was an answer to prayer.<ref name=podcast>Larsen, Cory . Multimedia portion of Luo, Michael ] Feb 12 2007</ref> He said that going to Journey into Manhood was difficult because it "meant learning to accept that part of myself."<ref name=podcast />
	The weekend addressed feelings of inadequacies as a man, which Larsen believes shapes his attraction to men.<ref name=nytimes>Luo, Michael ] Feb 12 2007</ref> Before going to the weekend, Larsen's main goal was to change his sexual orientation because it had been a source of shame. Since then, his goal changed to one of growth and progress and living consistently with his Christian faith.<ref name=podcast />

			In a 2007 interview, Wyler explained that the organization's purpose is to help men find peace and fulfillment in their lives; while Wyler states that some men may find peace and fulfillment in a gay identity, he contends that other men with homosexual attractions have found fulfillment in celibacy or in heterosexual relationships.<ref name=kcrw>{{cite news\|author-link=Warren Olney (journalist)\|last=Olney\| first=Warren\| url=http://www.kcrw.com/news/programs/tp/tp070301the_stock-market_sel \|title=To Be or Not to Be...Gay\| work=] \|publisher=]\| date=March 3, 2007}}</ref> Many mental health organizations have ].<ref name="HRC">{{cite web\|title=Policy and Position Statements on Conversion Therapy\|url=http://www.hrc.org/resources/policy-and-position-statements-on-conversion-therapy\|website=Human Rights Campaign\|access-date=12 April 2017}}</ref><ref>{{Cite web \|date=December 2021 \|title=Memorandum of Understanding on Conversion Therapy in the UK \|url=https://www.psychotherapy.org.uk/media/cptnc5qm/mou2.pdf \|publisher=]}}</ref> Though BR seeks to diminish same-sex attractions, it "does not identify as an organisation for gay conversion therapy."<ref name="Olivia">{{cite news\|url=https://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-35893729\|work=]\|title=Global health group takes on gay conversion therapy\|last=Lace-Evans\|first=Olivia\|date=2016-03-30 \|access-date=2018-08-31}}</ref> However, Mathew Shurka--the co-founder of Born Perfect--has asserted that Brothers Road and other groups like it are "repackaging" conversion therapy.<ref>{{cite web\|url=https://www.thedailybeast.com/gay-conversion-therapy-survivors-speak-out-its-torture \|title=Gay Conversion Therapy Survivors Speak Out: 'It's Torture' \|work=Daily Beast \|last=Teeman \|first=Tim \|date=December 1, 2020}}</ref> The Brothers Road website states that BR "especially support ... Men who want to explore affirming ways to lessen the distress, intensity, or frequency of any same-sex attractions" and "align their sexual and romantic thoughts, feelings, and behaviors with their own core values".<ref name=Lessen>{{Cite web \|title=Mission & Vision \|url=https://brothersroad.org/mission-vision/ \|access-date=2023-05-31 \|website=Brothers on a Road Less Traveled}}</ref><ref name=Mission/> Men who try to avoid same-sex relationships and seek opposite-sex ones often do so because of religious beliefs.<ref>{{Cite news \|last=Gerber \|first=Lynne \|date=2011-08-08 \|title=Ex-Gay Conversion Therapy: Choosing Religion Over Sex \|work=] \|url=https://religiondispatches.org/ex-gay-conversion-therapy-choosing-religion-over-sex/ \|access-date=2023-06-03}}</ref>
⚫	==See also==
	*]
⚫	*]

	==~~External~~ ~~links~~==		== Programs ==

	*
			The Journey Into Manhood (JiM) weekend is an ex-gay program offered by BR.<ref name=Crucial>{{Cite news \|last=Throckmorton \|first=Warren \|date=2011-08-01 \|title=NPR Report on 'Ex-Gay' Therapy Omits Crucial Details of Source's 'Journey Into Manhood' \|work=] \|url=https://religiondispatches.org/npr-report-on-ex-gay-therapy-omits-crucial-details-of-sources-journey-into-manhood/ \|access-date=2023-05-31}}</ref><ref name=SPLC>{{Cite magazine \|date=10 September 2019 \|title=Out of the Darkness: Conversion Therapist Quits 'Ex-Gay' Movement \|url=https://www.splcenter.org/fighting-hate/intelligence-report/2019/out-darkness-conversion-therapist-quits-ex-gay-movement \|magazine=] \|publisher=] \|access-date=2023-05-31}}</ref><ref name="Owens" /> The JiM weekend was founded in 2002 by Rich Wyler and counselor ].<ref name=Owens>{{cite news\|url=https://abcnews.go.com/Nightline/gay-straight-retreat-helps-men-deal-unwanted-feelings/story?id=12005242\|title=From Gay to Straight? Controversial Retreat Helps Men Deal With 'Unwanted Attraction' \|last1=Owens\|first1=Ryan\|last2=Patria\|first2=Melia\|work=ABC News \|date=2010-11-08\|access-date=2018-08-31}}</ref><ref name="Stack" /> The JiM weekend lasts for 48 hours and includes ],<ref name="Stack" /> visualizations, role-playing, and team-building exercises.<ref name="Owens" /> Journeyers "are taught that their same-sex attractions are rooted in childhood traumas that pulled them away from male figures" and that to experience sexual orientation change, they "need to fulfill their needs for male attention through non-sexual platonic bonding."<ref name="Owens" /> "The founders do not promise they will transition from being gay to straight , but the overall goal is to give the men a foundation so they can work on making the change over time."<ref name="Owens" /> In 2017, Wyler stated that Journey into Manhood weekend participants must be 21 years of age and must attend the program voluntarily;<ref>{{cite news\|url=http://www.azfamily.com/story/36469520/new-ban-on-conversion-therapy-for-gay-teens-in-arizona\|title=New ban on conversion therapy for gay teens in Arizona \|last=Crites\|first=Nicole \|publisher=] Arizona's Family\|date=2017-09-29\|access-date=2018-08-31}}</ref> previously attendees were as young as 18.<ref name=Owens/>

			JiM weekends also include an activity that PCC has described as "safe healing touch"<ref name="Stack" /><ref name=Crucial/><ref>{{Cite news \|last=Cox \|first=Ted \|date=2011-08-04 \|title=Touch Me, Man, I'm Healed, I'm Straight \|work=] \|url=https://religiondispatches.org/touch-me-man-im-healed-im-straight/ \|access-date=2023-06-03}}</ref> or "'father-son-style holding'".<ref name="Owens" /> Dr. Jack Drescher of the ] has stated that "there is no scientific evidence that 'healthy touch' exercises can help diminish same-sex attractions."<ref name="Owens" /> Wyler has defended the practice as "touch a core unmet need from childhood."<ref name="Owens" />

			Witnesses testified about Brothers Road programs in '']'', a lawsuit in which a New Jersey jury found that ] constituted ].<ref>{{cite web\|url=https://www.mic.com/articles/120562/handcuffs-baby-powder-duct-tape-the-most-jaw-dropping-conversion-therapy-practices \|title=Handcuffs, Baby Powder & Duct Tape: The Most Jaw-Dropping "Conversion Therapy" Practices \|website=mic.com\|last=Bixby \|first=Scott\|date=June 15, 2015\|access-date=August 25, 2023}}</ref>

			Some attendees of Brothers Road programs have later spoken out against the organization<ref>{{Cite news\|url=https://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-35893729\|title=Global health group takes on gay conversion therapy\|last=Lace-Evans\|first=Olivia \|work=BBC News \|date=March 30, 2016}}</ref><ref>{{Cite web\|url=https://www.esquire.com/news-politics/news/a47144/gay-conversion-therapy-gop-2016/\|title=I Spent Seven Years in Gay Conversion Therapy Programs Before Breaking Free\|date=July 28, 2016\|website=Esquire}}</ref><ref>{{Cite web\|url=https://www.mic.com/articles/120562/handcuffs-baby-powder-duct-tape-the-most-jaw-dropping-conversion-therapy-practices\|title=Handcuffs, Baby Powder & Duct Tape: The Most Jaw-Dropping "Conversion Therapy" Practices\|date=June 15, 2015\|website=Mic}}</ref><ref name=Owens /> but others have spoken favorably about their experience.<ref>{{Cite web\|url=https://archive.sltrib.com/article.php?id=2036479&itype=CMSID\|title=Utahns in 'My Husband's Not Gay' promote discredited 'conversion therapy'\|website=The Salt Lake Tribune \|date=January 12, 2015}}</ref><ref name="Stack" /><ref>{{cite news\|url=https://www.nytimes.com/2012/11/01/us/ex-gay-men-fight-view-that-homosexuality-cant-be-changed.html \|title='Ex-Gay' Men Fight Back Against View That Homosexuality Can't Be Changed \|work=The New York Times \|date=October 31, 2012 \|last=Eckholm \|first=Eric }}</ref>

			== 2016 Federal Trade Commission complaint ==
			In February 2016, Brothers Road (then PCC) was "reported to the ] (FTC) and accused of breaking the prohibition on unfair and deceptive acts" by engaging in ]. The complaint alleged that PCC "defraud consumers into believing that being gay is tantamount to a mental illness or defect", and added that various mental health organizations had debunked that belief. The complaint was filed on behalf of "a coalition of LGBT and human rights groups", "including the Human Rights Campaign, National Center for Lesbian Rights and the Southern Poverty Law Center".<ref name="Pilkington">{{cite web\|url=https://www.theguardian.com/world/2016/feb/24/gay-conversion-therapy-legal-challenge-virginia\|work=] \|title='Gay-conversion therapy' faces new legal challenge in Virginia\|last=Pilkington\|first=Ed\|date=2016-02-16\|access-date=2018-08-31}}</ref>

			In a March 2016 statement, the ] asserted that there "is no sound scientific evidence that innate sexual orientation can be changed".<ref name="Olivia" /> Brothers Road co-founder Rich Wyler called the FTC complaint an "act of hate and vicious bullying against our community of adult men—gay, bi-sexual, ex-gay and same-sex attracted men choose to not identify as gay".<ref name="Pilkington" />

			==Exit of David Matheson==

			In January 2019, Journey Into Manhood co-founder ] announced that he was disaffiliating from BR and the LDS Church and dating men.<ref name=Pursue>{{Cite web\|url=https://www.nbcnews.com/feature/nbc-out/once-prominent-conversion-therapist-will-now-pursue-life-gay-man-n961766\|title=Once-prominent 'conversion therapist' will now 'pursue life as a gay man'\|website=]\|access-date=2019-02-19\|date=23 Jan 2019}}</ref><ref>{{Cite news\|url=https://www.theguardian.com/world/2019/jan/25/david-matheson-former-gay-conversion-therapy-advocate-comes-out\|title=Man who worked as top 'conversion therapist' comes out as gay\|last=Holpuch\|first=Amanda\|date=2019-01-25\|work= ] \|access-date=2019-02-19 \|issn=0261-3077}}</ref>

		⚫	== See also ==
			{{portal\|LGBTQ\|Human sexuality}}
			* ]
			* ]
			* ]
			* ]
			* ]
		⚫	* ]

	== References ==		== References ==
	{{reflist}}		{{reflist\|2}}

			==External links==

			*

	]		]

Latest revision as of 22:49, 20 December 2024

American nonprofit organization for men seeking to reduce unwanted same-sex attraction

Brothers Road
Brothers on a Road Less Traveled

Named after	"The Road Not Taken"
Founded	2000; 25 years ago (2000)
Founders	Rich Wyler, Dave Matheson
Type	Educational Organization
Tax ID no.	54-2056275
Purpose	Support men wanting to attempt to decrease unwanted homosexual attractions, and increase heterosexual attractions
Headquarters	Ruckersville, Virginia, USA
Area served	Worldwide
Subsidiaries	Journey Into Manhood
Website	brothersroad.org (formerly PeopleCanChange.com)
Formerly called	People Can Change (until 2016)

Brothers on a Road Less Traveled is an American nonprofit organization supporting men who wish to reduce or eliminate their homosexual desires. Formerly known as People Can Change (PCC), the organization was founded in 2000, and is sometimes called Brothers Road (BR). It runs the Journey Into Manhood program. The organization and program are controversial and have been alleged to be consumer fraud in a 2016 complaint made to the Federal Trade Commission. For decades, Brothers Road co-founder David Matheson was one of the nation's leading conversion therapists, but in 2019 he left the organization to date men.

Formation and purpose

People Can Change was founded in 2000 by two Mormon men, Rich Wyler and David Matheson, based upon principles of reparative (conversion) therapy. Both men had ties to the now-defunct, ex-gay LDS organization Evergreen International. In 2016, PCC changed its name to Brothers on a Road Less Traveled.

In a 2007 interview, Wyler explained that the organization's purpose is to help men find peace and fulfillment in their lives; while Wyler states that some men may find peace and fulfillment in a gay identity, he contends that other men with homosexual attractions have found fulfillment in celibacy or in heterosexual relationships. Many mental health organizations have criticized conversion therapy. Though BR seeks to diminish same-sex attractions, it "does not identify as an organisation for gay conversion therapy." However, Mathew Shurka--the co-founder of Born Perfect--has asserted that Brothers Road and other groups like it are "repackaging" conversion therapy. The Brothers Road website states that BR "especially support ... Men who want to explore affirming ways to lessen the distress, intensity, or frequency of any same-sex attractions" and "align their sexual and romantic thoughts, feelings, and behaviors with their own core values". Men who try to avoid same-sex relationships and seek opposite-sex ones often do so because of religious beliefs.

Programs

The Journey Into Manhood (JiM) weekend is an ex-gay program offered by BR. The JiM weekend was founded in 2002 by Rich Wyler and counselor David Matheson. The JiM weekend lasts for 48 hours and includes psychodrama, visualizations, role-playing, and team-building exercises. Journeyers "are taught that their same-sex attractions are rooted in childhood traumas that pulled them away from male figures" and that to experience sexual orientation change, they "need to fulfill their needs for male attention through non-sexual platonic bonding." "The founders do not promise they will transition from being gay to straight , but the overall goal is to give the men a foundation so they can work on making the change over time." In 2017, Wyler stated that Journey into Manhood weekend participants must be 21 years of age and must attend the program voluntarily; previously attendees were as young as 18.

JiM weekends also include an activity that PCC has described as "safe healing touch" or "'father-son-style holding'". Dr. Jack Drescher of the American Psychiatric Association has stated that "there is no scientific evidence that 'healthy touch' exercises can help diminish same-sex attractions." Wyler has defended the practice as "touch a core unmet need from childhood."

Witnesses testified about Brothers Road programs in Ferguson v. JONAH, a lawsuit in which a New Jersey jury found that conversion therapy constituted consumer fraud.

Some attendees of Brothers Road programs have later spoken out against the organization but others have spoken favorably about their experience.

2016 Federal Trade Commission complaint

In February 2016, Brothers Road (then PCC) was "reported to the Federal Trade Commission (FTC) and accused of breaking the prohibition on unfair and deceptive acts" by engaging in sexual orientation change efforts. The complaint alleged that PCC "defraud consumers into believing that being gay is tantamount to a mental illness or defect", and added that various mental health organizations had debunked that belief. The complaint was filed on behalf of "a coalition of LGBT and human rights groups", "including the Human Rights Campaign, National Center for Lesbian Rights and the Southern Poverty Law Center".

In a March 2016 statement, the World Psychiatric Association asserted that there "is no sound scientific evidence that innate sexual orientation can be changed". Brothers Road co-founder Rich Wyler called the FTC complaint an "act of hate and vicious bullying against our community of adult men—gay, bi-sexual, ex-gay and same-sex attracted men choose to not identify as gay".