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Revision as of 09:04, 7 August 2007

Azusa Street Revival has been listed as one of the Philosophy and religion good articles under the good article criteria. If you can improve it further, please do so. If it no longer meets these criteria, you can reassess it. Review: No date specified. To provide a date use: {{GA|insert date in any format here}}. (Reviewed version).

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To-do: E · H · W · RUpdated 2007-08-07 Improve the intro sections to the article for brevity. Improve Seymour and Parham's personal articles, migrating appropriate content there. Add section on 100 year anniversary of the revival? Add some more scholarly sources. Look around for more (and better) images. Submit for Peer Review Submit as FA Nominee

Extraneous Statement

removed the following as extraneous:

"C.S. Lewis discusses speaking in tongues in his collection of essays, The Weight of Glory."Transposition" in "The Weight of Glory" In his writing, he both confirms the human's potential for uttering hysterical gibberish and rebutts those who would eliminate the possibility of divine impartation."

Going to be working on Verifiability

I tagged the main article with all the citation tags. I'm going to try and clean up this article some and cite sources, and hopefully add images and expand things a bit. Here are some of the sources that I plan on using:

• http://www.ag.org/enrichmentjournal/199904/026_azusa.cfm
• http://www.icfsr.org/history.html
• http://www.azusastreet.org/ (maybe?)
• http://www.answers.com/topic/azusa-street-revival (the article is essentially a copy + paste of this...)
• http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/04/14/AR2006041401421.html
• http://www.spirithome.com/histpen1.html
• http://www.twelvetribes.com/pdf/freepapers/azusa-street-revival.pdf
• http://www.cbn.com/special/AzusaStreet/index.aspx
• http://www.cbn.com/cbnnews/usnews/060424a.aspx
• http://www.letusreason.org/Pent57.htm
• http://arc.iphc.org/timeline/azusalinks.html
• http://www.religion-online.org/showarticle.asp?title=3321
• http://www.religionlink.org/tip_060130.php
• http://spider.georgetowncollege.edu/HTALLANT/courses/his338/students/asample/WJSASIMP.htm
• http://demo.lutherproductions.com/historytutor/basic/modern/stories/azuza.htm
• http://atheism.about.com/b/a/066076.htm
• http://ctlibrary.com/4276
• http://www.britannica.com/eb/topic-47092/Azusa-Street-revival
• http://latter-rain.com/eccle/azusa.htm

Please contact me on my talk page if you have any comments or suggestions. Nswinton\ 17:23, 15 May 2007 (UTC)

Rewrite

This article is currently undergoing a re-write. If you come in and find it jumbled and unintelligible at points, please be patient with me. Nswinton\ 22:32, 17 May 2007 (UTC)

I've finished re-writing the background section. Hopefully I'll be able to finish the rest of the article tonight. Nswinton\ 00:48, 18 May 2007 (UTC)

Update: I'm about half done with the article now. I'll be out of town for the weekend, but hopefully 'll be able to wrap up all the text by Monday night (May 21). I'll be adding images shortly afterwards.

Update: I'm done with the rough draft of the full article at this point. I'll be doing some heavy proof-reading for the next few days; adding sources, moving around text, wikifying, cleaning up structure, spelling, grammar, etc. Please feel free to contribute or contact me at any time if you have any comments or suggestions. I hope to start adding images after I get done with proof-reading in the next 2-3 days. Nswinton\ 20:16, 21 May 2007 (UTC)

Update: I've got 9 images on the article now. I need to go back and properly source them next, then I'll be doing some library work in the next few days to get some more good sources to back up some of the weaker online ones. I started the "worship" section, but it's currently only a stub. I realized that the article has very little description of the actual revival events that went on, so I plan to make that section give a more complete picture of what it would have been like in 312 Azusa Street during the fall of 1906. Nswinton\ 19:02, 22 May 2007 (UTC)

Update: The article is up to 24 sources now, and I'm still working on finding a few more images. I've fleshed out several sections, and I've got a bunch more stuff to add, so the article is still far from finished. I'll be adding much more over the next few days. Nswinton\ 04:33, 25 May 2007 (UTC)

I took a long break for work, and to refresh my mind. I made a few minor style changes today, and I'm thinking of migrating all the info that has to do with just Seymour to Seymour's article, which will shorten this one by 2-3 sections. I'm planning to be doing that and improving the flow of the "services and worship" section. Nswinton\ 16:01, 28 June 2007 (UTC)

GA review

I have taken on Azusa Street Revival for review under the Good Article criteria, as nominated on the Good article candidates page by User:Wikihermit. You'll be pleased to hear that the article meets none of the quick-fail criteria, so I will shortly be conducting an in-depth review and will post the results below.

Where an article is not an outright pass, but requires relatively minor additional work to be brought up to GA standard, I will normally place it on hold - meaning that editors have around a week to address any issues raised. As a precaution to prevent failure by default should this occur, if editors are likely to be unavailable over the next ten days or so, feel free to leave a message on my talk page so we can arrange a more convenient time for review. Regards, EyeSerene 16:13, 27 July 2007 (UTC)

GA on hold

I have now reviewed this article under the six Good article criteria, and have commented in detail on each criterion below:

1 Well written FAIL

1.1 Prose

This is generally good, and flows in a logical, readable way. The only minor points I noticed were:

• "His notions about speaking in tongues didn't go over well at the storefront church in L.A. that he had been asked to lead as pastor" - contraction; change 'didn't' to 'did not'
• "Hutchins eventually spoke in tongues herself as her whole congregation began to attend the meetings" - who is 'Hutchins'? This is the first mention in the article of this person; it needs to explain who she is.
• "People of all ages participated in the happenings. They flocked to Los Angeles with both skepticism and spiritual hunger. What is particularly notable about the intermingling of races is that 1906 was the height of the "Jim Crow" era of segregation. Also noteworthy, was the groups encouragement of women in church leadership, as women in the United States did not receive the right to vote until 1920, and the Equal Rights Amendment was not even proposed until 1972." These last few sentences of the Conditions section do not read as well as the rest - it needs a copyedit for grammar, clarity and POV.
• "...wished to instate segregation in their meetings" - spelling of 'instate' (Charles Parham section)
• "A. G. Garr and his wife were sent from Azusa Street as missionaries to Calcutta, India, where their "speaking in tongues" did not enable them to speak Bengali, the native language" - rewrite for POV; this comes across as a slightly sneering attempt at humour.
• "The Southeast United States was a particularly prolific area of growth for the movement, since Seymour's approach gave a useful explanation for things that had already been rumored to be taking place in those areas." - copyedit for clarity; I can't follow what this sentence is trying to say ;)
• "Nearly all of these new churches were founded among the poor and/or immigrants." - reword; avoid 'and/or'

1.2 Manual of Style

Again this is generally good. Citations are appropriately formatted, the section order seems logical, the article is well wikilinked, the lead is a fair summary of the article, and headings mostly follow the MoS. However, there are a few issues:

• Change Criticisms section header to Criticism (normally we should not use plurals in headers)
• Links need to be removed from the text and, if appropriate to the article, inserted into an 'External links' section after the references. For example: "You can find digital copies of all of the Apostolic Faith publications here", and the bible text links (although these may be better as footnotes).
• Definitely remove the link to " Japanese-American Cultural and Community Center in Los Angeles"; this is only marginally relevant and probably does not even belong in External links.
• Delink most of the linked dates - it is really only appropriate to link a date if quoted in full (ie day, month and year), because it will then display in the format set by the user preferences. Linking partial dates rarely adds anything to the article IMO (although to be fair this is not policy but a preference).
• Remove "(See article on Charles Parham for the clarity on the sodomy mention)" from the (renamed!) Criticism section, and add {{main|Charles Parham}} to the top of his section.
• "2,400 square feet (60 feet by 40 feet)" - these should be given in SI units as well (the template Template:Convert might be useful here). Also see WP:UNITS for the correct use of unit abbreviations.

2 Factual accuracy PASS

The article is well cited, and refs are provided for most statements that could be challenged. One or two that could do with a direct ref are given below, but this is more in the nature of suggestions for further improvement than part of this GA review.

• "Charles Parham was also sharp in his criticism, largely due to his racism"
• "Seymour and the others saw their experiences with speaking in tongues as confirmation of his sermon on Acts 2:4."

3 Coverage WEAK FAIL

The article covers the subject in appropriate depth. However, it occasionally teeters on losing focus:

• The Welsh revival section in particlular comes across as out of place, because none of the people or places in this section are mentioned again in the article. It goes into too much detail, disrupting the flow and potentially confusing the reader. IMO it may be better to merge Welsh Revival reaches America and North Bonnie Brae Street under Background, removing most of the content of the former. Also, if you decide to keep this sentence, check the dates: "In 1904, the 1908-1978 Welsh Revival took place..." ;)

On this, I disagree (but not strongly). Joseph Smale brought back to the US... "seeds" of what would become the charismatic movement in the US. The smaller revivals in Minnesota, North Carolina, and Texas helped to set the stage, and many of ASR's visitors and participants were from those places, and the ASR gave validity to many of those small movements. The Welsh Revival did set the stage for ASR's success. I'm not sure how or where to work that in, though...

• The article can't seem to decide in places whether it is about William Seymour or Azusa Street as per the title (I realise they are inextricably linked and to be honest I can't think of an easy way around this, so it's not a fail criteria!)

Good point here. I'm not sure how to handle this, either. I use this phrase in the loosest sense, but it was sort of a "cult of personality" so I think it's largely appropriate that Seymour be woven through it's main parts. I've had a similar difficulty with his personal article, I just don't know how to really write it without just repeating a lot from this one. This article covers pretty thoroughly who he is.

4 Neutrality PASS

The article is neutral and unbiased, giving a fair and factual coverage of the events discussed (other than those few minor POV issues mentioned above).

5 Stability PASS

There is no evidence of instability in the edit history.

6 Images PASS

All images used are appropriately captioned and have a suitable copyright status.

The outcome of this review is that I have placed GA status on hold, pending the above points being addressed. Editors now have up to a week to make the required improvements, although in rare cases the hold period can be briefly extended.

To help with tracking, editors may like to paste the following template after each recommendation as it is dealt with: {{done}}. Once editing is complete you can let me know on my talk page, and I will re-review the article. In any case I will check back here next Monday (6th August). All the best EyeSerene 09:13, 30 July 2007 (UTC)

Thanks so much for the review! Sorry that it's taken me so long to get back to you on many of these weaknesses. I'm sure that the article can still be greatly improved in many ways, but I think that I've addressed all of the issues that you've raised. The "Seymour visits Los Angeles" section I think may be one of the weaker areas now, because of the issue you raised above of Seymour being such a major part of the whole article. I think it's a justifiable section because it sets the tone and immediate background for the revival, but may be a bit long. At some point, I'd like to see those first two sections trimmed, or see the rest of the article grow. Anyways, thanks for the review, and let me know what I can do to further improve the article :) Nswinton\ 23:23, 6 August 2007 (UTC)

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