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The friend zone is a folk psychology concept found in many texts geared towards a male audience about "dating advice," or "seduction advice." It states that a woman, within the first several minutes of meeting a man, is open to having an intimate relationship with him until certain elements of his personality are revealed which the woman finds subconciously sexually unattractive. In that case, that man would be mentally categorized as a "friend" rather than a lover, i.e. put into the friend zone. The key element is that, once there, it is almost impossible for a man to get out, that is, it is almost impossible for a woman to change her mind and become sexually attracted to that man. This is said to be very different from how a male's mind would work, and as a result leads to a string of false expectations on the part of the man. Though there are some rare cases in which another aspect of the man's personality may emerge later on that will reengage the female's sexual interest. These aspects can be very obscure, such as having an unexpected ability to do or fix something. This aspect is probably something that the male never even expected would "turn her on."

Be careful to recognize the signs of the friend zone. Among other things, watch out for comments such as:

• "Awww, you're like a brother to me."
• When the word "luv" is used as opposed to the proper term of "love".
• "You're like a big teddy bear!" Keep in mind that women do not have sex with their teddy bears. Typically.

While in most cases, the female is completely oblivious to her friend zoning of the male, a persistant suitor (whether entirely unaware of his status as just a friend or simply unwilling to accept it) will lead to the female's realization of what she has done. A substantial amount of these cases end in the infamous "Let's just be friends" talk; however, if and when the female chooses not to inform the male of his friend zone status, the male is in for an emotional hellstorm. The female's witholding of information occurs as a result of at least one of three reasons:

• The female's hesitance towards hurting the male's feelings keeps her from being honest with the male.
• The female assumes that the male will inevitably reevaluate the situation and understand that he has been placed into the friend zone, avoiding any confrontation whatsoever.
• The female enjoys reaping the benefits of the male's courtship, and she will continue acting romantically interested, when in fact the relationship in her mind is completely platonic. This is commonly referred to as being "led on".

Many dating seminars and texts focus on how to avoid the friend zone, advising immediate cessation of all contact once a man finds himself in the friend zone. It should be noted that this is often paired with a philosophy designed to help a man have sex with women, with a priority on constantly meeting new women. Its value for helping a man find a secure, loving relationship is uncertain.

Although it is argued by certain contrarians that women can be stuck "in the friend zone," this is a distortion of the truth as taught by the ladder theory. Women are not, can not, be friend zoned (or, colloquially, fz'd). This is not because men do not reject women, but because men have fundamentally different reasons for spurning a woman's advances. Whereas a woman has two entirely different heirachies in which they rank males, men have only one in which they rank females. A woman rejects a man because she simply "doesnt like him that way"; a man rejects a woman because she isnt appealing enough. In other words a woman wants to have the benefits of a man's company without the typical requirements of a relationship--that is to say, a friendship. A man merely discards the woman until other more appealing prospects prove unattainable. Although this is often viewed as cruel it is percisely this sort of action that defines the males on the potential mate ladder of the female heirarchies.

The term friend zone was popularized by a 1994 episode of the television sitcom Friends, where character Ross Geller, lovesick for Rachel Green, was labeled "Mayor of the Friend Zone".

A common defense mechanism to being "friend zoned" is known as adversity avoidance, which states that a man will opt to maintain the status quo of his relatively non-existent relationship with a coveted woman rather than attempt to engage her in a romantic relationship and thus risk being friend-zoned. Put simply, this is a man's choice to admire a woman from afar rather than risk getting emotionally hurt by a failed endeavor to initiate a relationship.==See

Repetitive Zoning Shell: The jaded, stoic feeling that many males develop after numerous friend-zonings. It serves as a protective barrier between the female and the male's emotions: those who have the Shell show little responsiveness to zonings that would have at one time been emotionally damaging.

Companion correlation factor: the positive correlation between the number of guys in the friend zone and one's own level of comfort with being in the friend zone. As zoning volume increases, a man comes to feel consoled by having others to share his horrific circumstances with, and thus sees himself as part of the in-group.

Zoning anxiety: Paranoia of being zoned in what would otherwise be normal social situations, resulting in a deep and lasting sense of depression and self-loathing. This typically occurs in cases of severe friend-zoning. also==

• Nice guy syndrome
• 8 Days a Week
• Ladder theory
• Just Friends

External links

• Mating Rituals II Essay by "Azrael" that addresses the friend zone issue
• The Nondating Life: The Friend Zone Similar article
• The Nondating Life: The Flipside of Friend Zone The "rules" after sending someone into the friend zone

• Intimate relationships