Misplaced Pages

Revision as of 07:21, 10 April 2017

This article is or was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): Quackxo, EJAlly, Laejstudent2 (article contribs). Peer reviewers: Ejproject.

Peer review

Hi, your page has a lot of variety and information to it and touching on all those topics will add a lot of depth to your page. I would just think though, if you expand on all of those topics, your page would be quite long. I am wondering your plans for how you will be doing that? I'd like to see how it is when y'all have finished organizing it. I think y'all are on a right solid track. And remember, be bold! — Preceding unsigned comment added by Ongtruotvan (talk • contribs) 05:28, 12 March 2017 (UTC)

Hi, current classmate for the EJ class. There was an assignment to do a peer review so here I am. It looks like you all have a lot of detailes down already-- great job on the details, it looks like it'll be a really comprehensive article. The "cite" tool is actually really useful to use so it might be helpful to use to to keep the page clean while you're writing an outline. Are you all gonna get copyrights to images? Good job so far!

Ejproject (talk) 00:52, 8 March 2017 (UTC)

For the history of food justice section: It might be a good idea to leave timeline in bulletproof form and have a paragraph for the section. Having a timeline makes it easier for Misplaced Pages users to extract certain information without having to read a few paragraphs For the section regarding predictions for the trump administration, be care not to present any biased with that section. Maybe it would be safer to make the section on what trumps administration’s has done so far regarding food justice so it becomes more factual. Other than those two suggestions, you guys seem to be on the right track. Good topics and subtopics. If you would like for me to do another peer review after you guys put your ideas into article form, feel free to ask!

Lhashemi (talk) 03:19, 12 March 2017 (UTC)lhashemi

Looks like a very interesting page! One thing I would suggest is to maybe start out with some facts/stats on food injustice and how it disproportionately impacts low income communities and communities of color. I think if you include that right off the bat, it would make more sense as to what the concept is and why people should care. Also, just watch your tone in the Trump section. You want to make sure you are not sounding biased, and just stating the facts. You guys seem to have a lot going on in your outline...are you sure you will be able to get all of that done? It might be better to go more in depth on a few of those things, rather than try to tackle it all. Other than that, it looks great so far!Hotcheetoprincess (talk) 03:42, 12 March 2017 (UTC)

Firstly, I think your topic is very interesting and relevant to environmental justice. Already you have a lot of great sources and information to discuss on your page. A few points of constructive criticism: 1) In your "Food Justice" section, you mention Just Food but you do not explain what type of company, Just Food is or why it is important enough to mention in your article 2) The "History" section was very difficult to read. Perhaps making a timeline with the data first then the historical fact would make this section stronger 3) In the "History" section you guys say " term Food Justice yet invented...", consider revising this sentence's structure 4) In the "Food Assistance Programs" section, I think it would help to define what the programs do for food justice 5) The Trump section sounds a bit biased. Overall, the topic and material in the paper is coming alone well. Good luck on the final draft!Abendixen (talk) 04:06, 12 March 2017 (UTC)

Just found out about the food justice certification for farms and thought it may be a good addition to this wiki article! More info here: https://www.agriculturaljusticeproject.org/en/certification/ SemiTalia (talk) 19:12, 20 March 2017 (UTC)

That sounds like a great thing to add! We will look into it. Thanks Tamsberk (talk) 23:20, 20 March 2017 (UTC)

Feedback from Garrison

Really well done so far! There is great linking to other articles and good sourcing. I also like the photos you have to chosen to incorporate. I think the article has a great structure and is very thorough. I couple suggestions for improvement:

- Copy Editing: Do another read through and make sure that everything makes sense and to fix any grammatical errors. For example, the TEFAP sentence didn't make sense to me, and the under the SNAP section there are years listed as "191-1964"

- Could add some more details in some of the sections, such as "Free Breakfast for Children" - what is this exactly?

- The formatting of the first photo seems a bit off? Maybe align it to be at the very top right?

- Subsidies section is blank

- In the last paragraph - what EO are you referring to? The Farm Bill? That is legislation not an EO. That part was a unclear to me.

- I would consider renaming the section title about the future of food justice to not include Trump's name. I can see people taking issue with that. Maybe just "Future of Food Justice"?

Keep up the excellent work! California1990 (talk) 22:31, 2 April 2017 (UTC)

Feedback from Prof. Gelobter

great stuff....A few suggestions:

1) keep your eyes on the prize -- focus more on strengthening and deepening your citations and evidence on issues of justice than on combatting those who seek to erase any mention of it. 2) that being said, your page is in good enough shape to spend a bit of time tweaking any vulnerabilities to the charge of not being neutral 3) I disagree with Garrison...mentioning Trump is fine as long as it's properly cited/evidenced up as you have been doing by and large.

--EJustice (talk) 07:21, 10 April 2017 (UTC)