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Talk:Marty Mayberry

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Good articleMarty Mayberry has been listed as one of the Sports and recreation good articles under the good article criteria. If you can improve it further, please do so. If it no longer meets these criteria, you can reassess it.
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DateProcessResult
January 30, 2013Good article nomineeListed
Did You KnowA fact from this article appeared on Misplaced Pages's Main Page in the "Did you know?" column on November 26, 2012.The text of the entry was: Did you know ... that double leg amputee Marty Mayberry worked with a prosthetist to develop new legs that help improve his skiing following the 2006 Winter Paralympics?
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GA Review

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This review is transcluded from Talk:Marty Mayberry/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Wizardman (talk · contribs) 22:58, 26 January 2013 (UTC)

I'll review this article shortly. Wizardman 22:58, 26 January 2013 (UTC)

Here are the issues I found:

  • "He went into medicine because of his experiences," I'd reword this a bit, at first wasn't sure what that meant.
  • "Mayberry took up the sport on the disability" on the disability sounds a bit odd, reword slightly.
  • "In June 2010, he got married. He met his wife at a music festival" this can be combined into one sentence.
  • " and he is now studying medicine at the University of Sydney." Is he still there? The lead implied he graduated so double checking.
  • "Mayberry has won medals at IPC Alpine Skiing World Cup events, and" no comma needed here
  • " giant slalom, slalom" and slamom.
  • "Mayberry won a silver medal in the men's standing downhill event where he tied with another skier and had a combined time of 1:22.78" period at the end.
  • In general, the article seems a bit overreferenced, with a lot of refs thrown into the middle of sentences on top of the ones at the end. There's nothing against it but it does make the article physically harder to read.

I'll put the article on hold and will pass when fixed. Wizardman 16:14, 27 January 2013 (UTC)

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