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Revision as of 05:07, 4 May 2006 by Mattjak28 (talk | contribs)(diff) ← Previous revision | Latest revision (diff) | Newer revision → (diff)The friend zone is a folk psychology concept found in many texts geared towards a male audience about "dating advice," or "seduction advice." It states that a woman, within the first several minutes of meeting a man, is open to having an intimate relationship with him until certain elements of his personality are revealed which the woman finds subconciously sexually unattractive. In that case, that man would be mentally categorized as a "friend" rather than a lover, i.e. put into the friend zone. The key element is that, once there, it is almost impossible for a man to get out, that is, it is almost impossible for a woman to change her mind and become sexually attracted to that man. This is said to be very different from how a male's mind would work, and as a result leads to a string of false expectations on the part of the man. Though there are some rare cases in which another aspect of the man's personality may emerge later on that will reengage the female's sexual interest. These aspects can be very obscure, such as having an unexpected ability to do or fix something. This aspect is probably something that the male never even expected would "turn her on."
Be careful to recognize the signs of the friend zone. Among other things, watch out for comments such as:
- "Awww, you're like a brother to me."
- When the word "luv" is used as opposed to the proper term of "love".
Many dating seminars and texts focus on how to avoid the friend zone, advising immediate cessation of all contact once a man finds himself in the friend zone. It should be noted that this is often paired with a philosophy designed to help a man have sex with women, with a priority on constantly meeting new women. Its value for helping a man find a secure, loving relationship is uncertain.
It is often unrecognised, but true, that women can also get stuck in this hypothetical "friend zone" with men that they are attracted to. This lack of recognition is based on the false, Victorian belief that women are less sexually driven than men.
The term friend zone was popularized by a 1994 episode of the television sitcom Friends, where character Ross Geller, lovesick for Rachel Green, was labeled "Mayor of the Friend Zone".
A common defense mechanism to being "friend zoned" is known as adversity avoidance, which states that a man will opt to maintain the status quo of his relatively non-existent relationship with a coveted woman rather than attemt to engage her in a romantic relationship and thus risk being friend-zoned. Put simply, this is a man's choice to admire a woman from afar rather than risk getting emotionally hurt by a failed endeavor to initiate a relationship.==See
Repetitive Zoning Effect: the tendency for males, after many friend-zonings, to become jaded and stoic, showing little responsiveness to future zonings that would have at one time been emotionally damaging.
Companion correlation factor: the positive correlation between the number of guys in the friend zone and one's own level of comfort with being in the friend zone. As zoning volume increases, a man comes to feel consoled by having others to share his horrific circumstances with, and thus sees himself as part of the in-group. Zoning anxiety: the phenomenon of becoming paranoid of otherwise normal social situations and acquiring a deep and lasting sense of depression and self-worthlessness. This arises from a particularly severe friend-zoning. also==
External links
- Mating Rituals II Essay by "Azrael" that addresses the friend zone issue
- The Nondating Life: The Friend Zone Similar article
- The Nondating Life: The Flipside of Friend Zone The "rules" after sending someone into the friend zone