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"Principal Charming" is the fourteenth episode of The Simpsons' second season, airing on February 14, 1991.

Synopsis

Template:Spoiler

Patty and Selma visit a wedding, of a man that could have easily been Selma's husband had Patty not got in the way. Selma realises that she needs to find a husband and begs Marge to help her. Marge enlists the help of Homer Simpson to seek one out. However, Homer fails to find anyone suitable.

Meanwhile, Bart pulls a big prank by pouring sodium tetrasulfate onto the grass. In the principal's office, he is told to call his father, who is currently at Moe's Tavern. After asking for Homer Sexual, Principal Skinner takes the receiver as Moe verbally assaults who he imagines is his long-time tormentor. Moe gives Homer the phone when he realizes it is Principal Skinner on the other end of the line. Homer goes to the school and decides that Skinner is the perfect man for Selma. He invites the Principal to meet her, but he falls for Patty instead.

Skinner starts to go out with a slightly unwilling Patty, much to Selma's increasing chagrin. Meanwhile, Bart takes advantage of the opportunity to take control of the school. Skinner enlists Bart's help to get Patty to marry him, while Homer fixes a date between Selma and Barney.

Skinner takes Patty to the top of the Bell Tower to propose. Following Bart's lead, he has written "Marry Me, Patty" in 40-foot letters using the Sodium tetrasulfate that got Bart in trouble. Patty is flattered, but declines. In his grief, Principal Skinner sees what has happened to the school, and takes back control. Patty informs Selma of events, so she breaks up her own date. Things then return to normal.

Trivia

• This is the first episode to address Selma's fear of dying alone.
• It also marks the first appearance of Groundskeeper Willie (whose first line is "Save your strength, lad. There's a whole field for you to resod yet.").
• It also marks the first appearance of Hans Moleman, known in this episode as Ralph Mellish.
• Bart has an entire filing cabinet of mis-deeds in school. By the episode, The Wandering Juvie, he has three police filing cabinets.
• This episode features Springfield Elementary School as having a bell tower; it was never featured in any other episodes.
• In later seasons it is revealed Patty is lesbian since her adolescence. Her affair with Skinner is not mentioned, however.

Cultural References

• The "Tomorrow is another school day" scene is a hybrid of two scenes from Gone With the Wind
• Skinner's climb of the bell tower is a reference to Vertigo.
• Homer's HUD while searching for a potential mate for Selma parodies The Terminator.
• Stanley calls Martha "Martha my dear" and "Martha my love", a possible reference to The Beatles' "Martha My Dear".

Quotes

• Homer: Which one's Selma, again?
  Marge: She's the one who likes Police Academy movies and Hummel figurines, and walking through the park on clear autumn days.
  Homer: Oh, yeah yeah yeah. But I thought she was the one that didn't like to be ... you know ... touched.
  Marge: It's Patty who chose a life of celibacy. Selma simply had celibacy thrust upon her.
• Marge: You will find Selma a man!
  Homer: All right.
  Marge: And not just any man.
  Homer: Okay!
  Marge: He should be honest, and, and caring. And well-off. And handsome.
  Homer: Hey! Why should she have a better husband than you do!? audio clip
• Homers Pros/Cons Lists:
  Karl - Cons: Too attractive.
  Smithers - Cons: Jerk.
  Ms. Finch - Cons: Not a man.
  Apu - Pro: Discounted snack treats. Con: Dangerous profession.
  Stranger - Pro: Nice stride. Con: Complete stranger.
  Smoking Sign - Pro: Smoker. Con: Just a sign.
  Principal Skinner - Pros:
  * Uses big words.
  * Dislikes the boy.
  * Well Groomed
  Cons:
  * Possible Homer Sexual.
• Barney: She broke my heart, Moe.
  Moe: Don't worry, Barney. Time heals all wounds.
  Barney: Well, whaddya know! You're right! And look, a whole pitcher to myself!
• Patty: Why are you all dressed up like a chorus girl?
  Selma: It takes a ripe piece of cheese to catch the mouse. It's time to give away my love like so much cheap wine.
• Marge: Homer, remember you promised you'd try to limit pork to six servings a week?
  Homer: Marge, I'm only human.
• Skinner: Surely you realized that by writing your name in forty-foot letters on the athletic field that you would be caught!
  Bart: Maybe it was one of the other Barts, sir.
  Skinner: THERE ARE NO OTHER BARTS!
  Bart: Uh-oh.
• Selma (singing "Brandy" by Looking Glass): "Brandy, you're a fine girl, what a good wife you would be - but my love, my life and my lady is the sea..."
  Lisa: Poor Brandy. Aunt Selma, do you think you'll ever get married?
  Selma: Oh, I don't know. (a beat) Why, you know somebody?

External links

• Episode Capsule on "Simpsons Archive"
• "Principal Charming" at IMDb

• The Simpsons episodes, season 2